


Straighter than a Ruler, Flyer than a Bee

by theeducatedfish



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-09 13:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theeducatedfish/pseuds/theeducatedfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After one eventful day at school in which both Dave and Karkat both receive a detention from the drunken Biology teacher, they seem to slowly grow closer. Maybe a little too close of both of their liking...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not read Homestuck in maybe 4 years. I started this when I was 13 and it was kind of terrible and reminded me of a book I really hate. Don't even judge about inaccuracies to recent canon. I'm also a sucker for a good highschool AU. I haven't finished editing this chapter just yet so bear with.

Their hearts pounded harder than the waves of morning sun on their necks. The younger man, if he could be called that, lowered his sword, the older moving into a more casual stance, signalling the fight to be over. The man placed his angular sunglasses back on his face and no words were uttered while the two descended the stair case down to their apartment. The puppet in the blue t-shirt and cap glared at him as Dave slung his bag over a single shoulder, and his mouth still didn't move, not even to curl into a frown.

The journey to school wouldn't exactly be short, except he had find a way to make it consist of several shortcuts though suburban alleys and fields to his best friend’s garden. Nevertheless, it was not simple and he had to jump a fence on occasion; this was if their neighbour hadn't left their gate open. At the end of the first stretch of the journey, there was an empty space where John should be. It felt so wrong, like a little void in the history of walking to school.

Plink. Plink plink. Dave picked up a handful of gravel and proceeded to throw it at the window, which was ajar, the tiny stones bouncing off the glass to make solid, grey rain. 

'You know we have our Biology project in today. You did it, right?'

Dave could hear a reply in the form of a grunt and the faint rustle of sheets from the window. As he proceeded to pick up another fistful, he saw a bland and stern face peering out of the sliding doors downstairs.

'He says he's not well.' said John's dad, the inverted commas implicit in his tone and implied in the raise of an eyebrow.

'Not well, my ass!' the Strider directed at the window.

Once the his elder had left, he pointed a middle finger squarely in the direction of John. A hand snaked through the crack between the pane and the windowsill and smoothly twisted into the bird. He could see tufts of black hair and a toothy grin paired with it and he chuckled. He continued to school, soaked in the languor of the Texan heat and enveloped in unbearable ennui at the temporary loss of a friend.

First period, History.

Second period, Biology.

‘Mr Strider, I’ve had it with your excuses. I keep being nice to you but,' the teacher paused for a second to compose herself, 'but you just keeping letting me down. You too Karkat.' 

She slurred the last sentence and it was evident that she was ready to down the flask she had in her drawer. Apparently, she'd kept it in her desk when she was a student at the very high school she worked at. Regardless, she said what she said with such conviction that Dave wasn't able to argue his case, simply put up with a pittance of punishment for his crimes against homework and manners over the years.

'Oh, fuck off. Rose isn't going to believe this.' said the other boy, his face wrinkled in childish disappointment.

‘So anyway,’ she said, with a slight giggle and a final sigh. ‘Detention for you both. Hope you have fun!’ The teacher smiled and resumed her lesson. Several looks were exchanged throughout the remainder of lesson between the two boys, as they knew they would be spending one long lunchtime together.

As with all of the lessons, they went quick, without a word sinking into the children’s heads. It was a world of memory, rather than a world of understanding. One additional thing that Dave didn’t understand was why this guy he was going to sit in a room with for an hour had such a nice ass, yet could be such an asshole. It was totally non-lustful, platonic ass loving. Totally…

By the time Dave had stopped contemplating his sexuality, it was detention. They could have opted for it to be the next day, but they just wanted it over and done with. The ‘Study Centre’, as the teachers called it, was a small office like room with chairs and desks neatly placed in two opposite rows, with a larger desk at the end for a supervising teacher, usually a specially selected merciless and cruel one. At every desk was a computer and above every computer was a ‘motivational’ quote, usually just down-putting. A name card was placed at each desk, showing Dave and Karkat were to be seated next to each other. As I said, it wouldn’t be that uneventful.


	2. Chapter 2

Dave slid a note under the table into Karkat’s lap

_hey ‘Karkles’ what u up to?_

The other boy shot Dave a glance of confusion before scribbling down a reply.

_THE NAME IS KARKAT. USE GRAMMAR AND SPELLING TOO, DIPSHIT._

The note was carefully passed back, avoiding any suspicion from the supervising teacher.

_Calm down, dude_. _We’re all in this together._

It came to the point where their gazes at each other aroused a slight amount of suspicion.

_FUCKING HELL. HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL? YOU’D HAVE TO BE GAY TO LIKE THAT SHIT._

The teacher was just glaring at the two now.

_What if I am gay? Maybe I think you have a well fit ass. Maybe I want to touch that plush rump of yours. Who knows?_

As the note was being passed back, a seagull pecked at the far window, causing Dave to lose his grip on the note. He scrambled to quickly pick it back up again, but the teacher was ahead of him, picking up the note. She skimmed through the obscene words with a look of shock and disgust on her face, with a vague redness in her face.

‘Leave detention now, you two. Come back tomorrow to do another.’

The pair picked up their bags and left the room. When they had got as far as they needed from the study centre, they burst out laughing.

‘What did you even write in that note to make her turn into a fucking tomato?’

‘Oh, just something about how I want to touch your plush rump because it’s so fucking fine and shit like that.’

‘Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?’

‘100%. Striders are always serious.’

‘So you were serious about the whole butt touching thing too?’

‘Yep. As I said, 100% Strider serious.’

‘I think we should take this slow, babe. Maybe a date or two, huh? I always had a thing for romantic movies.’

‘You serious?’

‘As ‘Strider Serious’ as you are, apparently.’

‘You aren’t a Strider yet. You will be once the marriage is over. You were the one who suggested we take this shit slow.’

‘So, how does an actual movie this weekend sound?’

‘Remember, this isn’t a real date. Just two bros going to the cinema together. I’m straighter than a ruler, flyer than a bee.’

‘Do bees even fly?’

‘I think they might float…’


	3. Chapter 3

Dave let out a groan of displeasure as he slammed the snooze button on his alarm clock, halting the deafening noise of BOTDF. It was a Thursday today, meaning no morning strife. It was a day off from the unusual family routine, moving to a more usual one. If usual meant swords in the fridge, more smuppets bombarding him at every angle and the 42” flat screen blasting out puppet porn then yes, it was usual.

John was back from his ‘illness’ this day, but sadly, they had no lessons together anyway, and Dave had that second detention at lunchtime, meaning that the only time they could possibly . The day went more smoothly than one of Dave’s pickup lines which meant it went absolutely shit. Why exactly was it so shit? Because every day at school is shit, that’s why.   
The detention was better today but the teacher still glared at the two as sternly as yesterday. Dave swore that teacher would stop them both outside the Study Centre to give them a long lecture about how school was a serious formal occasion with no time for messing around or dating or whatever but alas, all she did was stare, wondering what on earth was going on between the two boys. It was nothing at the moment. Just two bros starting at each other’s asses and going to not dates to the cinema.

While walking down to the bus stop after school, they planned the not date, deciding which movie to watch and what snacks they would sneak in. They finally came to an agreement of 'The Great Gatsby', Karkat insisting that it would be a great classic and Dave claiming that he was only going to watch it because there was some hard partying involved. In reality, Dave only agreed to going to see it because he could see how enthusiastic Karkat was about it, and being the kind yet insufferable asshole he was, he wanted to make Karkat happy. Dave was secretly more of a Star Trek guy but seeming as he had already watched Into Darkness twice, it was another reason why he went along with Karkat's idea. As Karkat's bus pulled up, they hurriedly confirmed the details and made their way home.


End file.
